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Valentines Day – Before and After Kids!

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Are you one of those people who loves the concept of Valentine’s day?

You are? Awwwwww… I am the one who even after being married for a really long time and having had kids, feel super lovey-dovey on this day! I want my husband to shower extra love on me on this day, give me flowers and go on a special date. (Even if this means just going to the grocery store alone) 

But...something in me has changed this year, I feel somehow feel 
responsible for my daughters emotional well being this valentines day. 

I feel the need to tell her the reasons why she should celebrate this special day with us and I somehow feel responsible in explaining to her the concept of ‘love’ something which our elders didn’t think was important enough to be explained.

I know that my concept of 'love' hugely stemmed from watching TV 
and Cinema both Hindi and English

and was inspired by the Sit-Com Friends where Rachel and Ross who are madly in love but somehow cannot stay together, it was surely not inspired by DDLJ where SRK sings songs in a field and sweeps Kajol and her family off their feet, in turn, running away with the bride.

It was somehow shaken with the movies like Omkara and Maqbool and assumed a new meaning with those like Schindler’s List, Forrest Gump and A Beautiful Mind.

Having said this...the bottom line is for us is that Love was never 
given a definition by anyone and hence we struggled to define 
it ourselves a process which I would love to avoid.

So what do we tell our kids this Valentine’s day? How do we explain the concept of love?

Dr Yashashree Poudwal an imminent Psychiatrist tells us that Valentine’s Day has become a significant feature on the calendar and provides a good opportunity to speak to children about concepts of love. Parents can begin to explain to kids that the day is not a popularity contest but a celebration of love and kindness.

Dr Poudwal emphasises that while the media emphasis is usually on 
romantic love, parents can explain kids, the various types of 
love (parental, friends, sibling etc) that also deserves 
to be celebrated.

For parents with older children, this is a good time to talk about how it is normal to develop romantic feelings for their peers.

Allow your child to open up or question you. Don’t be judgmental 
Respect your kids feelings. 
Don’t preach them about your concepts of right and wrong.

Let them understand that you are always there for them to approach. Freely discuss matters about sex. This will help your child be better informed and make better decisions when the time comes.

I hope this article was really helpful to the parents who tend to face a similar dilemma as I did and were able to relate as well as find some answers to their problems. If you wish to reach us and consult Dr Poudwal on this topic feel free to drop in the comments below.

Keep on spreading LOVE

XOXO

SuperMOM Mitali

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