Pratik and Shraddha met in the gym and instantly hit it off…
Long before they knew, they were in love…
They even got hitched soon after….
Shraddha became pregnant after the 1st year of their marriage and things began to change…
They had a beautiful baby girl and everyone was really happy…
But slowly, they lost their chemistry while raising the kid…
Let’s hear it from two experts as to how couples can keep their relationship — and kids — happy and strong.
We asked Dr Yashashree Poudwal a leading Psychiatrist in Mumbai, as to why does sex take a backseat during pregnancy and what can be done to solve the problem…
Dr Yashashree maintains that ….Sex is important for maintaining an emotional and physical bond between couples. However, pregnancy can prove to be a roadblock for many couples. Continue to see other as sexual being and partners and not only as ‘mommy’ or ‘daddy’. Some women may have increased sexual desire during pregnancy while many men find their wives more attractive while pregnant.
The key to sustaining a healthy sex life is communication. Discuss your sexual feelings openly with each other. If one or the other is not feeling like having intercourse don’t take it as rejection, but understand and respect their decision. Indulge in non-sexual intimacy like cuddling, kissing etc. learn to flirt with each other again. Indulgent, sensual massages are helpful. Schedule occasional ‘date nights’ with each other. Since the situation has changed, understand that you will have to try new things to keep the fire going. Try sexual positions which are comfortable for both of you. Missionary is often difficult in pregnancy so try other more comfortable positions. Having oral sex instead of intercourse is also a good option.
We even asked her the deadly evil of ‘Weight Gain’ which causes many problems in healthy married couples.
Dr Yashashree maintains that….”While pregnancy is a joyous occasion, the weight gain which comes with can often lead to emotional turmoil and body image issues. Having a supportive partner can help ease the mind. Compliment her beauty and pregnancy glow. Make her realize that you are still attracted to her even if she doesn’t see herself the same way. A little reassurance and a gentle reminder to not worry about the weight but enjoy the pregnancy go a long way. Avoid making comments about the quantity of food she eats, the clothes she chooses to wear or asking her how long it takes to lose the pregnancy weight.”
We asked Niyatii N Shah, A Sexuality counsellor practising in Mumbai as to why most couples become less satisfied with their marriages after having kids…
Niyatii Maintains…..It is true that most couples fall back when it comes to sex post kids because of very little awareness. Couples get really busy in their professional or personal lives and hence most couples fail when it comes to sex.
Niyati suggests the below-mentioned pointers to keep the spark alive…
1. Focus on intimacy.
2. Spend some time alone. ( No kids, no parents)
3. Get help with your kids. It’s ok to take some time off.
4. Hug & kiss every day.
5. If kids are sleeping in the same room, find some other space. Bathrooms, kitchen, enclosed balcony, spare bedroom, friend’s home ;), just anywhere.
6. Don’t forget to look sexy with any body type you may have. Because sexy is an attitude, not a measurement.
7. Sleep naked.
8. If night does not work, let it be the blissful morning or any other time that suits you.
10. Don’t say NO to sex with because of your emotional burden or stress. Say YES, and the problem will be solved.
I hope this article addresses an important issue of maintaining a healthy sex life even after becoming pregnant or having kids. If you wish to get in touch with our in-house Sexuality Counsellor Niyatii N Shah or Dr Yashashree Poudwal our in-house Psychiatrist.
Drop us an email on firstname.lastname@example.org and we shall be glad to put you in touch with them.
Keep on Rocking